Love! 5 Things Not To Get Her for Valentines Day

11 Feb

First a little history….

Valentines Day was created in America because without it,  February would be void of a holiday where you were culturally bound to purchase something for someone else.  (source: ronique nicole 1981)

While most women anticipate to be swept off of their feet on February 14th in a vortex of romance, most will be disappointed because they’ve seen “The Notebook” one too many times, and unless you’re dating professor x, your partner can’t read your mind, and therefore are clueless to what your idea of “romance” may be.

Well, I can’t tell you what the standard of romance of  your girlfriend, wife, or baby-mama is,  but I can tell you 5 gifts that you should stay away from.


Teddy Bears:  Unless your girlfriend is 12, I would stay away from the Teddy Bears. Adult females have no use for teddy bears. A while ago we’ve traded in tea time with Mr. Fluffles for mocha lates at Starbucks with Christina and Susan, our human friends.


Candy: More likely than not, your girlfriend is on a diet. In America 9.5 out of 10 women are on a diet whether its been successful thus far or not. You can walk into any women’s restroom USA and overhear some lady who is a size 2 calling herself a fat ass in the mirror.


Teddy Bear Holding Candy: This is a double offense.


Hand Made Anything: Unless you are a carpenter or a jewelry maker, put down the glue gun and go to the mall. Gift cards were invented for a reason.


Clothes Or Lingerie That Don’t Fit: If you don’t know her body and her size you better not call yourself  buying an article of clothing for her, because trust me, if you give her something that doesn’t fit, no matter what body type she is, it’s the body type you won’t be examining that night (if you know whadd-I-Mean).

Disclaimer: This is just advice infused with humor, and like any advice it should be aligned with facts.  You are the only one that can fill in “facts” about your relationship. So don’t contact me talking bout, I treated my girlfriend to a day at the spa,  and she wanted chocolates…*shrug*

What-chu-Think?  What are some of the worst Valentines Day gestures you have heard about or experienced?



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